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RECOGNIZING AND FINDING TRUE HAPPINESS
Imagine for a moment that you have been invited on a scavenger hunt and your assigned task is to bring back an armadillo. Your success at this task, of course, is predicated on several factors. The first is whether armadillos are indigenous to your neighborhood. The second is whether you possess the necessary skills and equipment to make the capture of an armadillo feasible. The third, obviously, is whether you know what an armadillo looks like and could recognize one if it were to amble across your path.
This analogy applies to another type of journey and quest; specifically, the discovery and attainment of lifelong happiness. Too often, people put a high demand on external forces such as winning the state lottery or making someone fall in love with them in order to gratify their internal desires. Others fail to identify what would make them content and, accordingly, continue desperately searching for it in spite of the observation by their friends and family that the goal has already been reached.
The first step in finding happiness is to ask yourself what it is that would make your life truly satisfying. Let�s say that you�ve talked yourself into believing that So-and-So is the ideal mate for you and that nothing less than marriage to him or her would make you happy. The problem, however, is that So-and-So is either happily married to someone else or doesn�t even know that you exist. You could certainly spend a lifetime of pining and contriving and trying to wish for a change in the status quo but the bottom line is that your armadillo already has a mate and, if you try to orchestrate a kidnapping, he or she will only end up scurrying back home.
What if, at the same time, a worthy stranger were to come into your life, declare a lifetime of devotion, and ask you for a commitment? Would you turn them away in your stubborn determination to keep chasing your quarry to the ends of the earth? Let�s turn this back to the scavenger hunt. Elusive as armadillos can be (or so I�ve heard), would you balk at a stranger simply stepping through a doorway and handing you one or appreciate that you have finally found what you were seeking and happily accept it? Maybe it isn�t a specific So-and-So you want at all but rather a notion of the love and security that So-and-So represents.
The same can be said of quests for outrageous wealth. Would a million gazillion dollars really solve all of your problems? Or is all you really need the satisfaction and confidence that you can routinely meet all of your financial obligations plus still have cash left over for fun? If your wish list is based on jealousy and the observation someone else has more, you need to consider that maybe you haven�t seen the full picture. The millionaire who is estranged and lonely or the dowager dripping in diamonds who has just been told she has an incurable disease would probably trade places with little ol� you in a heartbeat.
The second thing you need to think about in your quest for happiness is an assessment of whether you possess the right tools to find it. To return to the armadillo hunt, it�s not likely that you will be able to just walk up to one and pick it up in your bare hands. You may need a flashlight to discover its hiding place, some tasty food to lure it out, some thick gloves to handle it, and a sturdy cage or box to take it home with you. Let�s apply this to the dream scenario that the thing you really want in order to be deliriously happy is your own home. A home, of course, will require you to raise some cash. It would also help if you had a real estate agent to assist you and a solid sense of what kind of house and neighborhood would best fit your lifestyle. Are these elements already within your personal power to acquire? If so, there�s nothing to stop you from moving forward with your plan. If these resources aren�t within your reach, you have the choice of either revising the plan to accommodate what you do have or determining what changes you need to make in order to bring the dream to fruition. The reality here is that you�re in charge of the choice itself rather than relying on someone else to make the choices for you and who, accordingly, will also be the person you blame for your life being miserable.
The third and final piece of the puzzle is in recognizing when the targeted destination has actually been reached. Is that armadillo safely in custody? Good. You can go back to your scavenger hunt pals and say, �Ta-da!� You don�t have to stay out any later that night running yourself ragged and hunting for another one. How many people do you know, though, who set out to become successful in their careers only to become workaholics who never get to spend any leisure time in the house that all of their hard work built? How many celebrities who spent years trying to garner public attention subsequently turn combative when the spotlight gets too bright and intrusive? And how many people are in your current circle who have devoted spouses, well mannered children, and lovely homes and yet gravitate into extramarital relationships because they don�t feel fulfilled? This equates to the scavenger hunter who doggedly pursues an armadillo, only to proclaim after its capture, �What I really wanted to catch was a ferret.�
In order to seize your dreams, you need to put a definition on what that dream is. Otherwise, you could spend a lifetime of catch-and-release, never holding on to anything for long enough to understand its value or to learn to be happy in the uniqueness of the moment itself.
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